Going home? Don't be in too much of a hurry to get out the confetti! You may find that reality is much more complex and disconcerting than you expected, with a (long) road of readjustment and compromise. In this article, we take a closer look at this strange moment in a family's history. international career.
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The big misunderstandings when it comes to (not) successfully returning from expatriation
The Expat Communication 2022 Barometer shows that 56% of expatriates consider the return more difficult than the departure, and 70% consider it difficult or very difficult. Because behind the return boarding card lies a mixture of emotions, doubts and expectations, both for you and for your family and friends who are welcoming you back.
When "going home" rhymes with "being somewhere else".
Returning to your country of origin after several years abroad is far from being as simple as returning to your old neighbourhood and finding your bearings. Although your country of origin is, technically, your 'home', as expatriates you discover that you are not quite the same, and that your country itself has changed: culturally, technologically, and even in its working dynamics. It's a bit like walking into an old house... but the walls have moved and the furniture has been rearranged.
The " reverse culture shock "The reality of repatriation is well documented. It's that strange feeling of being like the character in E.T., except that nobody brings you a bike to help you get back home! Contrary to the excitement you might imagine at first, many expatriates face a difficult return because of the gap between the old image they had of their country and today's reality. It's a transition that can be just as disconcerting as that experienced on arrival in the country that welcomed you when you left.
For some people who are used to international mobility, nostalgia for their experience abroad can lead to a kind of regret. It's that famous feeling of no longer having a 'place' in an environment that has continued to evolve without you.
Emotional rehabilitation and 'loss of identity
The idea that an expatriation is a "parenthesis" that must be closed for life to resume as before is a common one. You can't pick up exactly where you left off. What existed "before" is no more. This is true for you, your partner and your children.
Feeling like a foreigner in your own country involves little things like the accent you may have picked up or the new local expressions that escape you. But it's often more subtle. Your vision of the world has changed, you've evolved, and in return you find yourself faced with a version of yourself that no longer quite fits in with the image you had of your former identity. The challenge here? Accepting this new version of yourself, and finding a way to reconcile it with the expectations of those around you, who sometimes see you as the same person as before. You may then need help to reappropriate this evolution without denying who you were.
The paradox of post-return social isolation
Nearly half of returning expatriates have spent more than 10 years abroad (Expat Communication Barometer 2024), and you may well be one of them. Your parents, your friends, your former colleagues... everyone wants a piece of you and seems to forget that you're not a machine that will respond to requests once the moving boxes have been put away. This battle of expectations is probably not what you expected.
Especially as your friends and social life have changed, as have your colleagues, and you've become something of a UFO, arriving after a mission to the Moon. Habits, attitudes, everything has changed, and you feel disconnected from the culture you thought you knew inside out. This can lead to a feeling of loneliness. Because, let's be honest, reunions aren't always like they are in the movies. In your social rehabilitation, you're going to need to find your bearings, to reactivate local links. To re-establish bridges between the local and international versions of yourself. To find a new stability, to reconcile the two by taking advantage of what you have learnt during your international mobility. How can you get back to your roots without losing your new perspective? Getting back in touch with your network is like trying to turn an old phone back on: it takes time, and sometimes it doesn't get a signal at all!
Professional difficulties specific to the return
The tension between yesterday and today
Although you arrive with a wealth of experience and new skills, you are often confronted with a professional environment that still perceives you as you were before you left. And that's where one of the biggest difficulties comes in: winning back a local place in the company.
You may, for example, return with a different vision of team management, leadership or working methods. Your international assignments may have led you to think more globally, to adopt new collaborative approaches or to cultivate a more international perspective on business. But the reality of your company, your colleagues and your hierarchy may not be ready to accept this change.
Changing countries can make it difficult to prove that skills acquired abroad are relevant locally. This is the case for 30 % of expatriates, who say they find it difficult to make the most of their skills acquired abroad (Expat Communication 2024 Barometer).
A static organisational environment
There's nothing more frustrating than returning to a company that seems frozen in time... After years of living in a more agile, more dynamic environment, you arrive in a structure where change is as slow as a snail on tranquillisers.
You want to get things moving, but you feel you're stuck in a circle of resistance. That moment when you say to yourself: "How could I have found this normal? One of my clients, who I'll call David, came back from Singapore and realised this with great pain, because in meetings he would start his sentences with "When I was in Singapore...", convinced that this showed his expertise. And one of his colleagues ended up saying to him, a little embarrassed: "You know, you're not there any more... sometimes we get the impression that you're just telling yourself off". What he thought he valued came across as arrogance.
On a more positive note, you may take on a 'pioneering' role, driving forward internationalisation projects or helping to adapt practices from abroad. It's an interesting challenge in terms of leadership and influence within your professional network.
Reassessing your career over the long term
Back from expatriation, yes, but have you really thought about the direction you want your international career to take now that you've had this experience abroad? Because it's not just about (re)finding a job. It's about understanding whether this return is a genuine renewal or a return to square one in your career path.
The 5 pillars of successful reintegration
1. Anticipating your return from expatriation
The success of the return journey depends... on the return! All too often, this stage is managed in a hurry, with a "we'll see" attitude that turns into "we hadn't planned this". But preparing for the return means reducing the risk of disillusionment. This means communicating transparently about the prospects at the end of the assignment or contract, analysing your expectations (and those of your family) with HR, and raising awareness of the challenges that expatriates face on their return. Housing, insurance, social security, health insurance, driving licences, children's schooling, administrative formalities... On the Internet you'll find numerous checklists of things to do before you return, lists of useful administrative contacts and bilingual schools for your children.
2. Making the most of your international experience
More than just a stamp on a passport, your expatriation is a concentrate of intercultural skills, agility, leadership... that your company would be wrong to leave sleeping in a "cupboard", even a golden one. It's up to you to play your part in your new position: experience-sharing workshops, mentoring for new recruits, etc. managing international teamsThere is no shortage of tools for transforming the return experience into a lever for collective performance.
3. Combining professional and personal reintegration
Coming back can be a double whammy: you have to find your place in the office, but you also have to pick up the pieces in your personal life.
Getting back to 'normal' takes time. One of my very first clients, whom I'll call Laura, returned from Ireland with her family and thought that everything would fall back into place like a well-oiled Tetris. But she spent the first few months of her return doing paperwork and dealing with the shock of her children missing their school in Dublin. She realised that coming back often takes as much energy as leaving.
Especially as you're not the only one who's finding it hard to get back into the job market on your return: your spouse is too! Only 15 % of job-seeking trailing spouses find a job within six months of their return (Expat Communication 2024 Barometer). This is because, during their expatriation, they put their career on hold or took on jobs that were below their qualifications, or carried out entrepreneurial or voluntary activities in associations, often out of necessity rather than choice. Some even see this period as a "hole" in their career and CV, and wonder how they can justify it on the job market.
The good thing: experience abroad requires a great deal of adaptability in the face of challenges, uncertainty and stressful situations. When you return, you (and your family) will have developed tools for dealing with stress, pressure and adversity, which you can now apply in your home country, both in your professional and personal life.
4. Rediscover your roots
Your return may offer you the opportunity to rediscover your country from a different angle. After a period abroad, you are likely to have a different view of your home culture, which may lead you to rediscover aspects that you had perhaps ignored or underestimated. You can reconnect with your roots, find new ways to contribute to your society, and even get involved in social or cultural projects that resonate with your international experience and new social identity. This return can also provide opportunities for volunteering or mentoring that enrich your personal journey.
5. Bonus according to your profile
If you were an executive on assignment: transforming experience into leadership
You can integrate your intercultural expertise into local decision-making processes by analysing the gaps between pre-expatriation procedures and current realities, or by proposing an operational summary of best practices observed abroad, contextualising them to the company's current challenges (e.g. how to transpose a crisis management model tested in Asia to France).
For accompanying spouses: making the most of expatriation
Without necessarily thinking about skills assessment or professional retraining, you can transform your informal skills acquired abroad into recognised qualifications, for example in intercultural mediation (university diploma), multicultural project management (PMI certification) or language teacher training (EduQua label). If you're more interested in social entrepreneurship than in finding a job, you could set up a business that combines your experience, for example a "bilingual café" combining language courses with the sale of imported fair-trade products.
6 coaching questions to ponder for a successful return from expatriation
On your return, coaching can help you to accept this readjustment process, to better understand your aspirations and to redefine your objectives in this transition. If you are returning to your new job, individual coaching helps you to identify sticking points and to reconnect with your company's local culture, while making the most of the international experience you have gained. It gives you the keys to finding the balance between your desire for change and the reality of the company. It is a useful key to avoiding the trap of a passive reintegration, which leads to demotivation and resignation.
Here are a few questions to help you prepare for your return from expatriation:
- What motivated me to leave and come back?
- What values and perspectives have I developed abroad that could enrich my life and career back home?
- What are my personal and professional expectations of my return?
- What will I miss most about my experience abroad, and how can I continue to nurture that part of myself when I return?
- What is my relationship with my culture of origin now, and how can I reintegrate these roots while respecting the evolution of my own identity?
- In what situations am I afraid of not being understood or not fitting in?
In conclusion
And here it comes! Did you think returning home would be as easy as putting the key in the door and returning to your old habits?
Coming back can be confusing, frustrating and sometimes even destabilising. But that doesn't mean it's a step backwards or a return to square one.
This phase can offer a real opportunity, provided you approach it with clarity and openness, accepting that not everything will be exactly as it was before.
In short, don't rush into trying to fit in as if you'd never left.
Take the time to redefine your priorities, your social network and your support system.
And remember, returning is never an end in itself, but rather a step towards something new.
